Fashion policery, imagery and vocabulary

I was indulging in a little HuffPo fluff reading about celebrity red carpet fashion (fashion risks: success or stumble?) when Tai snuck up behind me and said, "What's that?" So I explained the concept to him and he stood beside me as I clicked through a few slides.

About this one he said, "She looks like a milkmaid going a-Maying."

Courtesy of Huffington Post

That's one sleek and sexy milkmaid (HuffPo called this one a Success), but I get his point and I love that he said "a-Maying". Where did that come from? How many times can he possibly have heard or read that term?

You'd think that playing celebrity red carpet fashion police would be a very girly-girl thing to do, but both of my boys loved it. They had something to say about everyone:

That dress looks like her pants are falling down.

She looks like a criminal. 

(Sorry, Beyonce fans. Wondering if it's the skin tone, stripes, or shades. Hope I'm not raising a racist.)

That's just...weird.

So I'm hatching an idea that involves finding slideshows like this--they're everywhere on the web--and writing comments about each slide. We work on refining the imagery and similes, and go for really apt description. This will be a do-it-together activity so we can be funny and snarky together (who can come up with the most creative critique or the spot-on-est description?), maybe with a pint of ice cream or a bowl of popcorn. Probably the fashion blunder photos will provide the best fodder. As always, we'll need to start with a couple of good model sentences.

If celebrity fashion doesn't appeal, I'm sure there are variations: tricked-out cars or bikes, home decorating disasters, bad hair, hats.

I'll try it this week and report back.

Perfectionism and Writer's Block: Baby Steps to Overcoming Both

One big cause of writer's block is perfectionism. This is what is sounds like at our house:

• I can't think of anything interesting to say.
• Everything I think of is stupid.
• Everything I think of is boring.
• I can't think of how to say what I'm thinking.
• I can't describe it. It's too hard/complicated.

The fear seems to be that the sentences on the paper are just not going to do justice to the vision in the blocked writer's head, whether the vision is a specific, fully-fleshed out plot/character/idea or just a vague sense that whatever he writes should be clever and beautiful and correctly spelled. I wonder if this problem might be worse in perfectionist kids who also read a lot of good writing. It's like girls who read fashion magazines and then spend the rest of their lives feeing fat and ugly because they're not as thin as runway models or as picture perfect as cover girls. You don't even have to read the magazines to have this problem, actually. All you have to do is watch TV or go to the movies or stand in line at the grocery stores and see the magazine covers.

But that's a separate issue. Back to writing.

Reading good writing is a great way to internalize how good writing should look and sound. It improves vocabulary, gets people comfortable with complex syntax, and provides models for all kinds of skills. Tai can produce pretty sophisticated language for his age, mostly when he talks, occasionally when he writes; I attribute this to his reading and maybe to the language he hears around the house. But often his own self-consciousness and, I don't know—fear of not being able to match the quality of what he reads?—get in the way of producing anything at all.

And finally on to more practical things. Here are a few steps I've taken to try to chip away at the wall between the perfectionist attitude and producing writing.

• We turned off spellcheck on the computer—those red lines can be so distracting. You're not supposed to worry about spelling in first drafts and journals anyway.
• For a while, we used frequently misspelled words from journal entries to create spelling lists. I knew that the words will be used again, which gave my writer lots of practice. Sometimes if there was a useful spelling pattern involved, I just picked one word and added some similar ones. This made spelling practice immediate, regular, and practical. We did have quizzes, but they were more like check-ins—let's see if you can spell that word easily. If not, no big deal—just keep practicing. One great thing about homeschool.
• Every once in a while, we go small—we do writing exercise that are just words or phrases or sentences. Perfectionists don't understand (or maybe don't like) that bumbling along and writing down every ridiculous thought as you go can help develop your thoughts. They want things to burst forth fully formed from their heads like Athena, and the thought of having to produce a whole perfect Something in one go can be paralyzing. If I were more patient and had more trust in the process, I'd stay with small and go bigger in baby steps, until we get to paragraphs. But I'm not.
• An example of starting small: we have contests making lists of words, phrases, or sentences—I have a big handicap so Tai wins a lot; winning builds his confidence and makes things more fun for him, so he's more willing to challenge himself in the next round or the next contest/exercise.
• Sometimes when we have a contest I award bonus points for mistakes. Deliberately make one that your perfectionist can catch. Then say, “Awesome! Bonus points for mistakes!” and award yourself an extra point.
• If you can, get your hands on copies of early drafts of the works of great writers. Look in the library or on the Internet for collected/complete works, manuscripts, or drafts. Marvel together at how much the piece changes from the draft to publication.
• I find specific things to praise, so that my writer knows what works (at least for me). Not a whole lot of things, either. Now he has a manageable number of clearly defined successes to try and replicate later.

Any additional suggestions are welcome, as always.

Quote of the week: Anne Lamott on perfectionism

A variation on last week's theme:

Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.

--Anne Lamott

Last Week's Quote of the Week: William Faulkner

Get it down. Take a risk. It may be bad, but it's the only way you can do anything really good.

--William Faulkner

We're all so afraid of making mistakes, of failing or producing bad work. So many writers claim that most of their work is so bad that they just throw it away, but they continue to do it anyway, every day. And they're the great ones. I think it's important to accept that we will produce bad work and "get it down" anyway, as Faulkner urges. All we can do is to get out there and blunder and trip along as best we can and have faith that every once in a while we will do something wonderful. Once again, writing wisdom as life lesson.

Online resources for teaching writing

A short list of web resources that I've found to be helpful. Please let me know of others!

http://www.homeschooldiner.com/subjects/language_arts/writing/main.html

About homeschool writing education in general. To quote the website, “writing prompts, online tutorials, books, programs, and tutors to help kids with their writing skills.”

http://www.homeschooldiner.com/subjects/language_arts/writing/reluctant/main.html

A link from the previous page, if you haven't already guessed, specifically for reluctant writers. Lots of ideas about why some kids are reluctant writers, and activities (and links to other activities) designed with those kids in mind. Actually, the whole website is great.

http://writingfix.com/right_brain.htm

A page from the Northern Nevada Writing Project, it lists cool and unusual prompts designed to engage the visual/spatial right brain for a change. It “celebrates approaches that are serendipitous and random...recklessly creative.” Links to writing-inspiring books, detailed ways to approach and use the prompts, related activities...you name it. There's a link on the page for left-brain writing prompts, too. The main website is a treasure trove of other ideas for writing.

http://corbettharrison.com/index.html

He is part of the NNWP (see above) and has so many good ideas. I used his Mr. Stick with Tai to play around with haiku and story ideas. Lots of writer's notebook ideas, which I keep meaning to start using.

http://www.languageisavirus.com/

Loads of writing prompts and activities; the site seem geared towards adults/teens, but most of the activities and ideas can easily be adapted for kids. A great way to get yourself writing as well.

http://penciltipswritingworkshop.blogspot.com/p/publishing-student-work.html

A list of publications that publish student work, because I know when to outsource the research.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/teacher-network

Who knew? There are great teachers and teaching ideas in the UK. It's not writing-specifict, and it's meant for classroom teachers, but there are lots of cool ideas here. For example, check out the one about mindfulness and chocolate.

http://arts-humanities.squidoo.com/naturejournal, http://www.lessonsforhope.org/pdf/Guide_To_Tree_Sketching_PDF.pdf

Both of these links to ideas for nature journals are technically about drawing rather than writing, but I see the nature journal as a great way to hone observational skills, both for writing and for, well, life. Also a good science (ecology, biology, that sort of thing) activity. I'm trying to turn it into a family activity, too.

When I am an old woman I shall wear a monokini

So this morning after swim practice, I saw a woman in the locker room on her way out to lap swim. She must have been eighty-ish. She had that hunched over old lady posture and plodding old lady walk. She was about as tall as my shoulder. and while I wouldn't say she was fat, her body--perhaps partly due to her posture--was round. Round in front, round in back, a soft, pudgy ball on balanced on soft, pudgy legs.

She was standing just outside the shower room, struggling with a brightly colored bathing suit. She'd managed to get it over her hips, and the back was alarmingly low. I could see the front of the suit swinging around below her belly. She seemed to be having some trouble positioning everything. I averted my eyes, a little embarrassed to have witnessed this. The next time I saw her, she was shuffling into the shower room dressed in this exact suit:

Imagine this woman 50 pounds heavier and 55 years older.

Flesh ballooned out of every opening and sagged over every edge. A gaily striped band of material stretched over her belly, which bulged like two wrinkly marshmallows on either side.

Better than when she was half-naked and the suit was dangling between her legs, but still shocking enough for me to have to make an effort not to stare.

My first thought was, "Wow, that's inappropriate."

But my next thought--and this is the one that stays with me--was, "Good for her. If she wants to wear that suit then more power to her." I was reminded of the poem "Warning" by Jenny Joseph:

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple. 

So which is it? Is she brave or blind? I guess we can't say for sure unless we know her. I just wonder what she thought when she chose that suit for herself. I don't think she could possibly have looked in the mirror and thought, "That's what it's supposed to look like." 

Did she lie to herself and say, "Oh, I can still carry that off." Was it like Botox or the wrong color hair dye (Ken Burns and Dave Barry, take note)? Was it vanity? Was it a desperate, pathetic attempt to turn back the clock, to pretend that she's still young and nubile? Should we laugh at her, or maybe feel sorry for her?

Or was she honest and did she just say to herself, "I like the stripes and I think it's cute I don't care if I hang out all over. I'm eighty fucking years old and I'll wear whatever the fuck I want, godammit, because I don't have to give a shit about what people think anymore."

I hope it was the second one.

P.S. There are people out there who think that old women (or whoever) should give a shit about what people think regarding their attire. I get that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just fooling myself with my long hair and cutoff denim shorts. Do I look like I'm clinging desperately to youth? Or like I don't realize how old I am?

P.P.S. I think I would have felt far less sympathetic--even offended--if a person with an actual fashion model body were prancing around in a suit like that. I don't know why.

A Few Resources: Books on Teaching Writing

In my pipe dreams, I will publish a book filled with fabulous tips on working with kids on their writing. In the meantime, here's a short list of fabulous tip-filled books:

Games for Writing; Playful Ways to Help Your Child Learn to Write by Peggy Kaye

A great way to coax kids into writing. Kaye has games to help kids with all kinds of issues, from handwriting (small motor skills/writing games) to fluency, grammar, style, and mental blocks. She includes step-by-step instructions, models, and possible variations, and indicates an appropriate grade range (K-3), although we all know what is appropriate can vary from kid to kid. But she knows this, too. Some of these can be stretched into longer, more substantial projects, if you are willing to think and plan a little.

Unjournaling by Dawn DiPrince and Cheryl Miller Thurston

Just a long list of prompts that are deliberately “NOT personal, NOT introspective, NOT boring.” Great for kids who are private and aren't necessarily ready to use writing as a conduit for deep thinking and sharing. For example:

“Use all five vowels (a,e,i,o,u) at least once in a sentence about gravy.”

“What if the shape round did not exist, except as the shape of the earth, sun, and moon? Looking at just your immediate world, how would your life be different?” You'd probably have to start by deciding whether round includes circular, or if it's just spherical, I guess.