Smarter Balanced Assessments: If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding

Starting to get notes in the email about preparing for the upcoming Smarter Balanced Assessment field trials this spring. These are trial runs of the nationwide standardized Common Core tests that are supposed to be rolled out next school year, and as far as I can tell, will replace the STAR tests this year, at least at our elementary school.

First of all, and least important, Smarter Balanced Assessment is a terrible name. It reminds me of this:




or maybe I'm thinking of this:

or was it this:

In any case, dumb name. Talk about standardized-test-driven curriculum squashing creativity. Clearly standardized-test-related careers do the same thing.

Okay, now on to my main point, which is also kind of a side note to the larger issues of standardized tests, Common Core, and their effect on schools, students, and society.

My son reports that his teacher is telling his class that they are required to take the test, and that they will not be allowed to advance to the next grade level if they do not do well on it.

What?

1. Bulllloney. It's illegal to hold a child back strictly on the basis of his or her score a statewide/nationwide standardized test.
2. The purpose of the test, whether we believe in the test or not, is to measure the school, not the individual student. 
2. Anyone can legally opt out with a letter.
3. The test isn't even a real test yet. It's a test of a test. Results can't count for real, anyway.

We're going out of town during the testing window anyway, so it doesn't matter for us. Still. How very vexing.

Halloween Costumes and the Drug War

Feeling proud of myself because I made a snake costume for Kenzo today--I went to the store and bought fabric and everything. He was going to be a shadow until day before yesterday and then changed his mind. I kind of liked the shadow idea better because it's abstract and cool and original, plus he was going to use Tai's old Grim Reaper costume (I made that one too, because I'm just that good, natch). 

Tai is going to be a gangster. Sigh. We spray painted one of his Nerf guns black, and he's going to sag his pants, wear a wallet chain and a big hoodie and push his hat sideways. It's actually pretty funny. He's even going to wear striped boxer briefs because he figures if you can see his underwear over his pants, it should be interesting to look at. His hoodie covers his butt, though, so it doesn't really matter--it's just for authenticity's sake. I got him a big chain to wear around his neck, but he said no thanks.

He's also going to wear a bandana around his face--Old West bank robber style--that has the bottom of a skull on the outside. So much for authenticity. 

Why does the idea of a gangster costume bug me so much? More than, say, a cowboy with a gun or a Marine with a gun or a 1920's gangster with a gun? Because it's racist? Because it's violent and contemporary? I don't think he even understands what it means to be a real gangster.

The irony is that it's Red Ribbon Week (Say No to Drugs!) at his school this week. It's so awful. Each day has a theme: 

• Do the Macarena during lunch on Monday because Heey, Macarena! (Ay!)
• Wear boots to school on Tuesday to Give Drugs the Boot! or was it Stomp Out Drugs! or Kick the Cocaine Habit! or maybe it was Who Cares! 
• Wear you clothes backwards on Wednesday to show that Drugs Eff You Up So Much You Can't Put Your Clothes On Right! 
• Scare Away Drugs! on Halloween and wrap a teacher up in toilet paper at recess to make her into a mummy because Drugs Are Afraid of Mummies! Also, Dead People Don't Do Drugs!
• Wear Red on Friday because Bloods not Crips!

 Or whatever. Who knows. How this is supposed to help kids not do drugs is totally beyond me. Tai's sweatshirt was on backwards after school today and I asked him if he knew why everyone was supposed to wear their clothes backwards. He said no. I don't think anyone knew, actually. 

School has its benefits, but this ridiculosity is one thing I could do without.

Note: 

In case you're wondering, they were supposed to Dance Away Drugs! by doing the Macarena. Seriously. And they were supposed to Turn Their Backs On Drugs! by wearing their clothes backwards. Ugh. It makes me want to tear my hair out. Now I'm glad that Tai is going as a gangsta. I should have found him a hoodie with a big marijuana leaf on the back.

Addendum (11/3): Come to think of it, if I were drugs, I'd definitely run away from a crowd of people doing the Macarena on a Monday afternoon. 

Can You See Me Now?

I don't want to turn this space into a whine-fest about Los Altos schools and parents, because mostly it's pretty good here. First World problems, amirite? But there was this one other weird thing that happened a couple of weeks ago that I am still chewing on.

I volunteer in Kenzo's kindergarten classroom one afternoon a week, 'cause, you know, I'm a good parent like that. Also, who wouldn't, if they had time? I mean, it's just Ms. L and twenty-two kindergarteners, and both the state and the school district have charged Ms. L with teaching all of them to read, write, add, subtract, and sit quietly in their seats by the end of the school year. No small task. I'm happy to help.

So let's begin with the facts:

Fact: Ms. L is faced with a daunting task;

Fact: Many kindergarteners are not developmentally ready to do any of the things she is supposed to teach them to do;

Fact: Loud noises give Ms. L headaches.

Considering the facts, it is no surprise that much of Ms. L's time and energy is spent exhorting her kindergarten class to be quiet, sit still and do their work. It makes me little sad, but I guess I can't blame her. She's just trying to do her job and not get a headache.

Geometry, continued

Who knew I had this much to say? This is a post for my good friends, Rebecca (a physician assistant in East Palo Alto) and Alix (education researcher at in Menlo Park), with whom I discussed the geometry issue and more while we passed a water polo ball around this morning. I have such amazing friends. 

Dear Rebecca and Alix,

Thank you so much for your thoughts this morning on creating a culture that truly values--with its actions--education for everyone. I've been thinking about our conversation all day.

That's what pisses me off about the whole geometry thing--it's not about improving education. It's not about making schools better in any real way. It's about improving already privileged kids' chances to become more privileged. The futures of Los Altos School District kids will not be affected by whether or not they are on a BC or an AB Calculus track. They'll go to 4-year colleges and get white collar jobs regardless of whether or not they take geometry in 8th grade. It's ridiculous to get upset about options in AP Calc, considering the options faced by families in, say, Alviso or East Palo Alto. That said, I can't blame those parents for demanding what they think is best for their children.

So much has to do with ownership--with taking responsibility, with feeling entitled to the best education available. Intrinsic motivation starts with ownership, right? And a path toward mastery, and one other thing I forget. That's why the overprivileged families keep asking for more, more, more--because they feel entitled to more, and they are happy to shoulder the burden of getting it if it's not offered. On the flip side, maybe that's why underprivileged families stay that way--they don't feel entitled to the best, they don't know how to get it, and maybe they don't feel it's their responsibility anyway. And there are families who need to be coached into taking even a little responsibility for getting their kid to school, or for making sure she eats a good breakfast. I used to keep milk and cereal in my classroom for kids in my first period class, because they would show up with a candy bar from 7-11 for breakfast. Maybe I should have gone to their homes like Rebecca said they do at her clinic, and seen if I could get the parents to commit to feeding their kids breakfast, at least. Not all of them were so poor that they couldn't afford it. But I would not have done it well--face-to-face is not one of my strong suits. 

So maybe teachers (or someone) need to be trained to make those kinds of visits and phone calls. To coach those families in how to take ownership of their children's education. To make them feel--like that Los Altos woman--that their children's lives are at stake if they don't get the very best a school district has to offer, and that it's their one of their primary responsibilities as parents to act in that direction. 

But what teacher has the skills, time, and energy to do home visits to the parents of 15 kids who are failing her class? Parents who don't show up for scheduled meetings with the teacher at school? Jaime Escalante? That teacher who gets his inner-city 5th graders to love Shakespeare in that documentary whose title I forget? But these are people insanely dedicated to their work, who have almost no life outside of it, it seems. 

So everything needs to change. The way we organize schools, the way we think about communities/community.  

If you've stuck with me this far, thank you. And thanks again for the great conversation and for making me think carefully about these things.

Misa

Geometry for 8th Graders, or How Much Do You Love Your Child?

This is not about writing, but it is about education, and I have to vent somewhere. And what I'm writing is too snarky to send to the local paper, so I'm posting it here.

Ready? Okay.

Some loving parents in my little town are trying to do right by their children by fighting for a geometry option for advanced 8th grade math students, and the mean old school district is standing in their way. The school district says they don't want to promote a fast-track, get-ahead-at-all-costs mentality. Right on, says I. But I'll bet the school district also thinks that it will cost money to write the extra-advanced curriculum, and it will be a pain to schedule--but they're not going to say that on record, are they?

I'm not sure where I stand on this. I think that my community pushes kids a little too forcefully, academically. The definition of success here is pretty narrow: A's in school, lots of sports, top tier college admission, high-paying job. On the other hand, I kind of think sure, why not offer geometry in 8th grade to kids who are ready, with the caveat that they must really want to take it? Although who are we kidding--the kids will want to if their parents want them to want to. Following me?

But. The parents' and one trustee's arguments, quoted below, make me a teeny tiny bit sick:

"The Los Altos School District keeps its students doing warmups while the [Mountain View] Whisman and Cupertino students are running full speed. In a four lap race, the Los Altos School District students enter the race a full lap behind."

--Don Hana, parent

On the same theme:
"We need to get competitive or we will get left behind."

--Mark Goines, trustee

Um, first of all, I wasn't aware that high school (math) was a four lap race that kids should run at full speed. Are we talking about that infamous race to...nowhere? (Oh, how I love the irony.) God forbid Los Altos kids should get anywhere after kids from ghetto Mountain View. Some of those Mountain View families don't even own their own homes, for crying out loud.